Rather to be sick

Now is heavy rain,just came back with a wet and cold body... Now i really rather to be sick as not many things will be in my mind... I am very confused now,don't know what to do,just don't want to change my clothes felt like i want to go and under the heavy rain again... 站在雨中，人就不知道我是在哭还是雨水滴在我的脸上，心情真的很不好受。我不知道要怎样面对现实，不知道要往哪里走，我的目标是什么，我的理想是什么，每个女孩子都想要有一个完整的家，可是我有个半破碎的家，很多事都要我扛，看来我年底的梦想应该是破灭了。只好等到我真的有能力才能去做吧！希望的我的梦想能成真，不让我的遗憾可能会很大！

miss him

Haiz... so miss him... Today suppose to meet him but he is busy right now i was sad but on sunday we are meeting up again so busy recently.... He looks so tired.... Really hope that God would always with him to give him strength... But now i am feeling okay but just that i am thinking of things of what to do about my exams and also to get busy so i won't disturb him.... No matter what i must not disturb him for anything and affect him by my emotions... Hope he is happy now....

What to do...

Now i am confused... I really don't know what to do... Look at him so busy i want to help him but i could not,i got no stand tohelp him in anything... :( see him so tired,my heart feels pain for him...now i try not to disturb him what he said to me yesterday make me feels that i scared that he will leave me... Left me all alone...

Felt sweet today

Felt very sweet from dear today! So happy that he is with me again the whole day although is like only a few hours but i am very happy and also good that he is with me and i will cherish every single second of mins with him,no matter what i really want to thank him cause he made an effort today to follow me to go buy what my mum wants and he then go have his lunch.... I felt very sweet! As in like not every guy would want to follow a girl to buy stuff especially in a hot weather and also take his lunch after buying my things! :) very happy and i felt very blessful by God! As in what God send him to me is a really big present and i really thank God of what He had done to my life also in dear's life! :) I really want to thank God and dear who had help me in my life and really to change some parts of my life! No matter what now as in my national exams are coming... I will continue to walk with God and i will accompany dear no matter what happen just hope that not very serious things will happen and we can influence each other by our good side! Also what God want us to do to expand His Kingdom and His way for us! :)

Sick

Felt super sick now although there is no more flu but i felt like vomitting... Damn suffering man... :( so many things have happen so stressful... Ah!!! What to do seriously too stress need to go and destress le... No matter what by this week i need to relax my mind also must take my medicine as normal if not really is super dizzy and having a terrible headache!

What should i do?

Felt sad although today very happy that i pass some subject... He was very angry and i think if i made a mistake i could piss him off easily... Now resting my mind... Don't want to know anything... Feels like crying and want to find a place to hide myself or to lock myself up... Cold and sleepy now... What am i suppose to do? Really really really sad i now going to cry already... Tears going to round my eyes.... Seriously.. I know he is busy,i know he is tired,he having his exams but at least inform me... I won't even go and disturb him for what.... I felt that i am a failing girl.... :( haiz... What to do! What should i do? I want to at leat help him,but i couldn't cause i am not as smart as him...  Felt that i am so useless... :( perhaps i am not the girl for him? Have a lots of doubt... Is this what he feels? Don't feel like asking him,is not i don't have confident in him is i think i am totally a fail girl... Don't even think for him...

Very happy... :)

Although haven't got back my results back for combined humanities but i was happy that i managed to pass my english which is on the risky side... But this is not yet end i still got one last major exam to go which is my O'levels... :) and somemore got rewards from someone special and my parents was very happy about it... :) but instead of going more arrogant and not going to study but i am going to study more harder i can't don't be going into a poly.... Must and definately... :) Jiayou for myself and to my loved one and my only one beside God... :) dear,you can do it for your exams de! :) jiayou... Darling will continue to support you till the end... :) Don't give up,jiayou oh!!! :)