Chance?

Yesterday have a quarrel again... Don't know what to do... Really thinking should i give him a chance to let him to treat me good again? I really hesistate... At the split second i really cried and wan to break up... But a voice in my heart said ask him... He said he still treat me as his gf...
Although got heal my heart a bit but i still not fully happy... I need chocolate to heal my heart again... :(

Crying

Now almost every Day since friday i have been crying... Yesterday was the big cry but no one knows i have to say out then other people know people ask am i okay but actually in my heart i am not okay at all... I have been hurting my physical body but i don't feel pain at all just having tears down my cheecks... I now don't have the mood to be cheer up... Now i am a sinful person... Cause i am drinking beer the 2nd time within 2 days... I felt better after hurting and drinking... But no one knows my feeling even i have to tell him to check my blog then he will notice what happen... :(

不知道该怎么说

现在我真的不知道要怎么做，心很乱，做这个可能不对，做那个可能又不对。
时间好妙哦！不知不觉两个月了。好无聊，想跟他小聊天，可是他很忙，我又不能一直烦他。那么要怎么做呢？很想他！:(

Burden? Problem? Obey!

Haiz... Don't know why that I have such a feeling... I suddenly felt that I am a burden to my bf.... I suddenly felt like I am a very irritating person... Yesterday was the prayermeet i felt very refresh and happy then today my mum vomit in my heart i have prayed and ask God for help maybe i don't have the sense but i have really thank God for everything... Yesterday i was really thank God although yesterday my LG was only 3 person but i know God had spoken to me... Maybe suddenly God ask me to really do His word in a special way and i was so happy that i was able to lead a group prayer.... I was so happy that dear is with me when on the way to prayermeet with my group although it led to friends to know but at least i felt conmfort... Although today is our 2nd month anni and we couldn't celebrate together but yesterday just the time had turn 12 midnight we were on our way home.... :) so there is a time spending with each other.... But i hope that God had gave us more... But i know that God would have His way and maybe this is the problems that we have to face till the big problem comes which is a cliff rather than a valley... But hope that God would bless me and the people around me also hope that my sister and brother have a good day... Hope that everything between me and dear would have a good and well time spent with each other also to my friends as well who are now struggling with relationship also studies.... Also for my studies,may God have bless me and I would continue to praise God and to obey His words and i would need to buy a bible soon because the phone bible is seriously make me to play games rather to know the word of God... Also wish that i would not be a burden to dear who love me a lot and also that i can be independent when i am not with him and miss him a lot... :(

Rather to be sick

Now is heavy rain,just came back with a wet and cold body... Now i really rather to be sick as not many things will be in my mind... I am very confused now,don't know what to do,just don't want to change my clothes felt like i want to go and under the heavy rain again... 站在雨中，人就不知道我是在哭还是雨水滴在我的脸上，心情真的很不好受。我不知道要怎样面对现实，不知道要往哪里走，我的目标是什么，我的理想是什么，每个女孩子都想要有一个完整的家，可是我有个半破碎的家，很多事都要我扛，看来我年底的梦想应该是破灭了。只好等到我真的有能力才能去做吧！希望的我的梦想能成真，不让我的遗憾可能会很大！

miss him

Haiz... so miss him... Today suppose to meet him but he is busy right now i was sad but on sunday we are meeting up again so busy recently.... He looks so tired.... Really hope that God would always with him to give him strength... But now i am feeling okay but just that i am thinking of things of what to do about my exams and also to get busy so i won't disturb him.... No matter what i must not disturb him for anything and affect him by my emotions... Hope he is happy now....

What to do...

Now i am confused... I really don't know what to do... Look at him so busy i want to help him but i could not,i got no stand tohelp him in anything... :( see him so tired,my heart feels pain for him...now i try not to disturb him what he said to me yesterday make me feels that i scared that he will leave me... Left me all alone...