Miss you

Haiz... It is being 3 months from now... But when u show me your scheldue i really think that u very busy and i don't think i want to disturb u that why my temper became that bad... Cause i am jealous in a  lot  of things,i don't have the secure from much things although that physically i may look that i am okay but in actual fact is that i am hurting myself. But i promise that i wouldn't ever disturb u even in the night even u tell me to wait i try my best to wait for your reply but always that i have to wait for very long. I try to stop hurting myself but i just can't stop it. Bit by bit my old-self came back with a lot of hurt. I try to stop but i just can't. Everyday just have tears round my eyes let busy to overcome the super miss of you. But as i facing the four walls i tend to think even more negative stuff instead of letting myself to be more stronger as it was. I try to be more independent. Please just ignore me as you want. I am already exhausted in a lot of things. I don't want to be like an idiot looking at my phone almost every few seconds. Just let me think. I really too tired.